


take me out and take me home

by Sinna



Category: Leverage
Genre: F/M, Heist, M/M, Multi, Other, fluff and snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:15:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26751223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinna/pseuds/Sinna
Summary: Parker asks her boys to help her out.
Relationships: Alec Hardison/Parker/Eliot Spencer
Comments: 5
Kudos: 70





	take me out and take me home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [simplelyric (Meadow_Lion)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meadow_Lion/gifts).



> My gift to Simplelyric for the Equality Exchange on dreamwidth.

“Parker! You’re stepping on my head!”

“Just hold still for a few more seconds!”

“I’ve got four guys coming in at four o’clock! US Marines by the stride.”

“Well, take ‘em out!”

“Really Hardison? You think I can take four US marines?”

“Can’t you?”

“We’ve definitely seen you take on worse.”

“Just get that safe open quick.”

\--

Six hours earlier…

\--

“Wanna help me with a heist?” Parker asked, leaning in between Eliot and Hardison where they were arguing about the pros and cons of various weapons.

Eliot kept dropping concerning statements like “One of those broke my thumb back in ’97,” while Hardison seemed to be basing his entire argument on video game statistics.

“What kind of heist?” Hardison asked suspiciously.

Parker grinned and shrugged.

“Just a little breaking and entering. Pretty standard security system. Beauty of a safe, but nothing I can’t break in under five minutes. Are you in?”

Eliot and Hardison shared a look.

\--

Parker crossed the crowded museum ballroom, attempting to keep her face neutral. The result was probably not entirely successful. Sophie had once gently told her that her neutral face tended towards murderous. But no one tried to actually take any of the glasses of champagne off her tray, so Parker wasn’t complaining.

She offered the tray to Mr. and Mr. Nom de Plume, the charming Nigerian investor and his attractive American husband.

They each took a glass, and she slipped a stolen ID into Eliot’s sleeve as his arm brushed past her.

“Five minutes,” she mouthed as she walked off.

\--

Five minutes later…

\--

The entirely smitten Mr. and Mr. Nom de Plume stumbled into one of the museum store rooms, hands tearing at each other’s clothing. To any watching eyes, a perfectly innocent pair of newlyweds looking for a bit of privacy. Behind locked doors that required keycards. As one did.

Parker was waiting with a grin.

“Hello, boys!”

Eliot and Hardison took a bit longer than necessary to disentangle themselves, but she’d planned for this. They were still right on schedule. She had spent the past two minutes picking the lock to the disused service elevator shaft, and it was now swinging open perfectly on newly oiled hinges.

“Down we go!”

She dove headfirst down the shaft, landing gracefully ten feet down.

“I am not doing that,” Hardison insisted.

“It’s barely a fall,” Parker called up.

“Yeah, Hardison, it’s barely a fall,” Eliot teased. “Also, I brought a rope.”

The boys, because they were cowards, used the rope to get down.

Parker led the way down the dusty hallway until they were right under the director’s office.

“So we’re getting up through here?” Hardison asked.

Parker nodded.

“The closet used to be an elevator shaft. They left a trapdoor for emergency access.”

“Awfully convenient,” Eliot observed.

Parker grinned.

“I know! It’s great!”

She hoisted herself up easily, opening the trap door as she went. The carpet conveniently lifted up with the door and she climbed into the closet.

Her boys followed easily enough, Eliot lifting first Hardison and then himself. Parker was observing the walls.

“There. That one.” She pointed out a small painting near the ceiling.

“Who the fuck puts a safe eight feet off the ground?” Hardison asked.

Parker shrugged.

“I dunno. Eliot, can you watch the door while Hardison helps me crack the safe?”

Eliot nodded and moved towards the door.

“How am I helping with the safe?” Hardison asked suspiciously. “There’s no way I’m getting up there.”

“I just need you to stand here,” Parker told him.

He did so.

“Now what?”

Parker clambered up the desk chair and onto his shoulders.

“Now, don’t move.”

“Bit of warning might have been nice!”

But he reached up to grab her ankles and steady her even as he protested.

And that was why she loved him.

\--

The safe was taking longer than planned.

“Parker! You’re stepping on my head!” Hardison protested.

“Just hold still for a few more seconds!” she snapped, trying to find the final number in the combination.

“I’ve got four guys coming in at four o’clock!” Eliot hissed from the door. “US Marines by the stride.”

“Well, take ‘em out!” Hardison hissed back.

“Really Hardison? You think I can take four US marines?”

“Can’t you?”

“We’ve definitely seen you take on worse,” Parker added from where she was standing on Hardison’s shoulders.

“Just get that safe open quick.”

Parker let out a quiet cheer as the safe door finally swung open. She tucked the jewelry bag in her pocket and within seconds had scrambled back to the ground.

“Thanks,” she said, kissing Hardison lightly.

He grinned.

“Anytime, baby.”

“Can we get out of here now?” Eliot snapped.

\--

The trio was back underground before anyone opened the door to the office.

“What’s our way out?” Eliot asked.

“Same way we came in?” Hardison suggested.

Parker grinned. “Even better.”

She led them back through the tunnels to a rusted ladder and quickly began climbing.

“It leads to the parking garage,” she explained.

“That is not gonna hold me,” Hardison pointed out.

Parker jumped on the ladder, already nearly above his head.

“Don’t be silly. It’s more stable than it- whoa!”

Okay, maybe she had misjudged that. As the rung crumbled between her feet, she waited for the pain of the floor rushing up to meet her.

It never came. Instead, sturdy arms wrapped around her, catching her safely in midair. She opened her eyes and smiled at Eliot.

“Maybe let’s go back the way we came,” he suggested.

She kissed him quickly.

“Yeah, that’s probably best,” she agreed.

\--

The three of them crowded back into their headquarters, laughter spilling from their lips as they recounted the ups and downs of the heist.

Unusually, the conference table was covered in an elegant feast.

Parker and Hardison looked to the likely culprit. Eliot was grinning.

“Happy anniversary,” he said.

Parker brought her hands up to her face, giggling in delight. Hardison rolled his eyes and booted up the video system, revealing a sappy photo montage.

“Don’t try to upstage me, Spencer.”

As the boys argued the various merits of their chosen celebratory methods, Parker dumped the ill-gotten gains of the heist onto the table. Three shiny gold rings tumbled from the jewelry bag.

“Let’s get married,” she suggested.

By the looks on their faces, breaking into the museum to plant those rings had definitely been worth it.


End file.
